I received this email from a friend and thought it a perfect picture of corporate (balogna) America:
“This morning, despite my best efforts to leave early and beat the traffic of other mindless lemmings on their way to their 8 hour prisons, I arrived late to my cell. How late? Exactly 8 minutes late.Because of this 8 minute tardy, I must now stay a little longer in the day to make up the TIME. How much longer must I stay, you may ask? 15 minutes. “But you weren’t 15 minutes late. What gives?” Well you see, in the corporate environment, one of the big nonsensical thoughts is to work everything out into quarters. Seeing as how 8 minutes is just over the halfway point, it has been decided to round UP to the nearest quarter hour.(Note: rounding down never happens)
So back to the time issue…regardless of the fact that I accomplished all of todays critical TASKS in the first 20 minutes (or roughly,2/3rds of my commute time), I still must stay an extra 15 minutes to make up the TIME. Even if those 15 are spent goofing off, shuffling papers, sending “important” emails, or chatting with someone about their previous/upcoming weekend. Forget the fact that the work I’m getting paid 8 hours of my day to do is completed (and completed in 1/24th of the time), I still must be here, and be present, to prove I’m a good employee.”
The joys of corporate America.