There are phrases, accusations, people, tones, blood sugar levels and attitudes that instantly turn us sour. Some of us completely shut down when our work is criticized, our judgment is questioned, we’re hungry, someone says “you have to,” or we feel judged. I’m not being generic here, there are specific things that enrage you, or close you off. What are they?

Our moms know our trigger points best because they learned to avoid them. (or manipulate them!) Their expertise in our shutdown triggers was somewhat sub-conscious, and they forgot to send us off to college with a list of these triggers. Unfortunately, we weren’t keen enough to understand ourselves, so there we went, off into the world without a hint about the things that instantly tip us off. It’s our job to uncover those shutdown triggers, and I suggest we hop on it quickly.

What could we accomplish if we weren’t on shutdown mode three times a day?

Today’s sighting of black birds – the were lined up on lights hanging over the highway. What really caught my attention was the space in between each of the 30 birds perched on the metal bar…equal distance between EVERY bird. Even they understand personal space! Then again, if they were crammed on a subway in NYC, maybe they would change their ways too.

Sitting here in anticipation of writing, I can’t help but wonder if I’ll remember all the things I want to write about. It has been several weeks since I’ve posted a blog. Christmas and the New Year have rolled in like a hot storm, and we’re already receiving tax documents, ushering us into February. Where does the time go?

I’ll tell you where the time goes – to things we deem important and urgent, and usually we default to take care of urgent things before the important ones. I spend a great deal of time listening to people talk about their life and business. We have a knack for blaming our miserable life on our “circumstances.” Ironically, most of these “circumstances” are the result of decisions we’ve made, not something a stranger handed us on the sidewalk. If we accept this – we gain the opportunity to make different and better decisions.

Back in the saddle again.

She’s from a big Greek family

He’s married with two small children

He used to be a server for 17 years then bought the restaurant 6 years ago

He makes a weekly SAM’s Club run Monday morning

He owned and sold 3 restaurants before 26

He and his wife are having their first child in February

He feeds a homeless man in exchange for cleaning

He just turned 50 and believes he’s the best “Roaster” in Rochester

She’s a mom of teenagers involved in sports

He doesn’t like cooking at all

He’s 25, loves basketball and soccer, drives an hour to work each day, but loves living in the country

He’s a manager and “loves” his boss, the owner

THEY ALL REGULARLY DONATE TO LOCAL CHARITIES. They’re past the limits of writing it off, and they surely aren’t making any money on these donations. They realize as part of a community, the natural outworking is to GIVE.

This “prove you’re human” quip kept reappearing with every failed attempt at deciphering letters and numbers smashed together. What started as a cute quip quickly became an insult since I couldn’t distinguish the gobblety-gook. According to their qualifications, I couldn’t prove I was human.

We can be guilty of the same. How often have I made a decision and forgotten to consider the consequences? How many failures and insults could be avoided?

A few years later when I was receiving the “Most Valuable Player” award, I realized this coveted award was won with the same disciplines as the “Most Improved” award. One is the natural outworking of the other. It makes sense that if I worked harder than my teammates to improve each year, eventually I would be the most valuable player.

The good news is that by the time I was regarded the MVP, I had enough sense to realize I couldn’t be anything without my teammates. By working hard to improve, I won the right to be the beacon for the team, the one to wear the yellow jersey.

Don’t forget your teammates if you’re wearing a yellow jersey and have MVP awards in your office.

Most of the last year I lived in discomfort. There were no systems established, no familiarity with tasks and processes. Everything I jumped into was raw and untested. I was untaught and unlearned at the onset of every task. I was tired of the rookie plays, and newbie stresses.  But, I was determined to keep moving. It’s impossible to steer a parked car.

I’m convinced of the following more than ever before:

• Fear puts people in a head-lock. It’s easy to stall when we aren’t fully equipped with knowledge and skills. If I had waited until I “knew how” to incorporate, develop a logo, flyer or ads, create official documents, or make sales calls, I would still be working on incorporation paperwork.
• New things are uncomfortable. We forget how it was when we went to school for the first time or tried riding a bike. It was uncomfortable, but then we did it over and over, and we don’t even think about it now. There is comfort knowing the newest and scariest thing we attempt today can be within our comfort zone in the near future.
• Get the wheels in motion. Don’t waste time deliberating. Get your hands on all the info you can, as quickly as you can. Use all available resources without pride. If you know anything about ethics, people, business and winning, pile that on the info you’ve acquired and pull the trigger on a decision. Hardly anything is permanent. Call it instinct if you want. Go. Make a decision. Stop over-thinking, over-asking, over-seeking approval, over-wondering, over-calculating, and over-developing the fear.
• Growth comes from asking tough questions and answering them. I’ve gotten really good at asking myself hard questions. The most difficult task is answering honestly. If I can’t answer the questions I ask myself, how will I ever tell the truth to others?

That’s enough meaty thought for one day. I’ll save other thoughts for upcoming posts.

But seriously, take your fears to the arena and pound them to a pulp. I’m cheering you on.

I was guarded and uneasy. My radar was out, as if the fight or flight response was on deck, ready to be called. I’m not a quitter, but at 3:30pm I had enough. I was scared of something, and the most disturbing part was I couldn’t put my finger on it. It didn’t matter that there was only two hours of work left. I don’t remember how it happened, but I must have called my mom to pick me up.

I rounded a traffic circle yesterday that I hadn’t rounded since the day I left that job, uneasy and paranoid.

Don’t let “courage,” determination and pride keep you where you know you don’t belong. We have intuition for a reason.

#1 – A handicap tag hung from the rear view mirror

#2 – The passenger was gripping a handle above the window while sailing around the corner

I would have missed this if I was staring at a traffic light, trying to change it to green with my gaze. We can’t always change our circumstances, so find the sparkles and enjoy the entertainment.

Is there value to mediocrity?